Wind beneath my Wings

I love this picture, we were cleaning up the hall at my cousin Kortney's grad party and my mom put the girls on this cart and Grandma sang and clapped her hands while mom danced the little girls around. This is just "so them".

Grandma modeling her new hat at Christmas.

On July 4th, my mom and Grandma on the pontoon. Grandma loves silly hats!

I need some prayers for my sweet Grandma Verna. For the past 3 weeks (since Myah started school) I have been visiting the hospital on a regular basis. For starters my Uncle Mike had prostate cancer and had the surgery to remove the cancer and is slowly but surely getting better. My Grandma lives with my aunt and uncle so while he was in the hospital she was on her own at home. In the past that would not be a deal. But this year has posed some problems for Grandma. She went to Florida over spring break and got sunburned on her ankle area, she started getting some pretty bad scabs on her sunburned area and since she is a diabetic and has poor circulation in her feet these scabs have become her worst enemy. So much so that she will not walk. The sores on her feet have spread and are very painful, she has had skin grafts, goes in weekly to a wound specialist to have her feet/ankles re wrapped and cannot sleep very well because they are so painful. After Uncle Mike came home from the hospital Grandma fell a few times and could not get herself back up. My aunt called me one morning and asked if I could come help because we need to take Grandma to the hospital, 2 days after my uncle had left. We got her in and they named off many things wrong with her, they told us had we waited another day she would have been dead. That was almost 2 weeks ago.

She has been getting better it seemed and was going to be moved to a rehab floor to get her walking, her feet are still in much pain but they told her she can't go home until she can walk. Bless her heart she is a fighter! Yesterday afternoon my aunt called and said that while they were sitting with Grandma she fell backwards in the bed, apparantly she died at that moment and the nurse came running in with a crash cart and they were able to bring her back and put her on a respirator. They determined she had a heart attack and would most likely have another one in 24-48 hours. We knew Grandma never wanted to live on a machine, she was fighting them, trying to take it out. The family decided to ask Grandma what to do, she made a gesture of "pray for me" and take it out. So we did just that, and we waited to see what would happen. The nurse came out and said she was doing well and was talking. We all had said our goodbyes to her beforehand so it was a gift to go back and have a conversation with her and hear her voice again. She would not stop talking! She was very coherent and amazed us with her memory. We do not know what today, tomorrow or forever will bring for Grandma but I am praying that she can come out of this. I know she is ready to die, she has told us so but we aren't ready yet. I don't know how I would handle losing my dad and my grandma within 9 months of each other. We have been through this before, losing Mark's dad, grandma and my grandma all within 9 weeks. It is not fun.

Last night while I was in the room with her the nurse came in and wanted to take her temperature, she said, "I am not going to take it in your mouth, I am going to take it under your wing" Grandma then replied "the wind beneath my wings". She is a huge music lover, I had to laugh that she would quote a song that has meant so much to our family through the years. She is a hip Grandma and always bougth the presents that we really wanted for Christmas, always had a swimming pool and baby kitties running around, as a little girl I loved that part! Grandma always had a stash of sweets that we loved too! Like my mom says Grandma always had the coolest hippest music playing, she still does. One day she told me she likes the new P-diddy song, I said "who?" she says "you know Puff Daddy, the one who sings Every Breath You Take". She loves to sing, especially "you are my sunshine". My mom and Aunt Katie sang it to her last night even. She is the sunshine of our family and I am praying that this is not the final chapter of her life. We need her, we love her and we would miss her terribly. Please pray for her, for all of us, we are having a difficult time, pray for my Uncle Mike, he has not been able to recooperate properly at all after having major surgery, pray for my mom, who is still grieving over losing my dad, pray for me, I am running around like a mad woman most days. This weekend is Dayton's first homecoming and I am really wanting it to be special for him. I want to enjoy it with him as well. On top of everything else going on , Mark's mom has a broken vertebrae and is in severe pain. She needs prayer too.

Sorry this post is all over the place, but that is how my mind is processing things lately, I am all over the place!!!

First Day of Preschool!

Myah had her very first day of Preschool today! She was so excited this morning she could not stop smiling! We did not put her in last year because she was not potty trained so she is in the 4 year M W F program. We love her teacher Ms. Becky, she had her last year in playgroup and I was thrilled to find out that she was the new preschool teacher for this year. We LOVE her ! She is now our friend and it makes me feel so good knowing that she is in good hands. Myah was disappointed to find out that it was a shorter class today but she was more upset that I had to stay the whole time! She wanted me to leave! It actually did not hurt my feelings at all, she was so happy to be there, what more could I ask for!? The nice thing about this preschool is that it is through our community ed so it is actually in the school that she will attend next year for kindergarten, and the school that Dayton attended so I know the staff and Myah is familiar with her surroundings. I am hoping that will make her transition next year just that much easier. She got her own bookbag today from the school and she gets her own milk, just like the big kids, she thought that was pretty cool. At one point in circle time, Ms. Becky said "Myah are you excited to be here?" sarcastically because she would look back at me with the biggest smile everytime they did something. She was beaming, you could just see the excitement oozing from her!!! So different from Dayton's first day of preschool with him crying because I was leaving, hitting the teacher ( he was never a hitter), and me crying in the parking lot! Myah also starts her dance class tonight, she is very excited about that too! All in all, I think she will have a blast, she is a little sponge and loves to do new things, I am sure this will be a great year for her!My big preschooler!She found her own cubbie right away!
Doing her calendar project

During circle time she was all smiles! Very proud to be there!

The beloved Ms. Becki!
Snack time! She ditched the juice box I gave her for chocolate milk!

Dad's First Birthday In Heaven

Dad and Grandpa were very close. Their birthdays are only 2 days apart. This picture was taken during our little celebration for Dad's 60th and Grandpa's 85th, I love seeing them laugh.

Today on 9/9/09 my Dad would have turned 62. I have thought about him so much over the past few days leading up to his birthday. I am missing him so much. I keep trying to forget about those last few days of his life and focus on the good times with him. He loved to laugh, especially as a family, we are a crazy, joking family and Dad always had the funniest, craziest stories to tell and was the best joke teller I ever knew. I love that he gave me the gift of laughter, it has helped me so much this past year, I am not a very serious person, always the jokester and trying to see the humor in things, I get that from him. Just this past weekend, our family sat around laughing at "Dad" stories. He was a character. Life is much more boring without him in it that is for sure. I know he is sharing his birthday with those he loved so much who had gone on before him, certainly he and my Uncle Cleo and Uncle Pete are throwing a party like nobody's business! What gives me the most comfort is knowing that he is with Jesus, he was so ready to meet him. Even though we all miss him terribly here, I would never wish him back the way he was. He is at peace and that is the greatest birthday gift he could ever receive. Happy Birthday Dad! Here is the video that I took on his last birthday a year ago today. (Dad loved the Doobie Brothers so I put one of his favorites on here, we used to sing it Karoke with him all the time)

1st Day of High School!

My Freshman!!! It was very dark this morning when he left!
( He did tie his shoes before the bus came!) I love that he wore his Livestrong bracelet, so sweet!

Sniff, sniff, my little boy is walking into the high school today as a Freshman, where has my little boy gone? We sat him down last night and gave him the high school pep talk, I am sure it went in one ear and out the other but at least we feel better knowing that we laid a foundation for him. And a set of rules! Gosh, it is kind of scary, on one hand I feel like we are throwing him into a pack of wolves and on the other hand I am so excited for him and can't wait to share in this special four years of his life. I remember my first day of high school like it was yesterday, everyone seemed so tall (so was their hair) and their pants were so tight!! Ah the 80's! I am so proud of Dayton, he is joining the tennis team today after school, at orientation several of his friends came up to him and said that they needed more players and that he should join. We know NOTHING about tennis but he said he enjoyed playing in gym and was the doubles champ in 7th grade so we will see what happens. We bought him a racquet yesterday, Mark bought one too, someone has to hit the balls back to him right? After breaking his hand last month we are hoping that this will help strengthen his arm again for baseball. Plus I think it is a great way for him to get "plugged" in to the whole high school experience, meeting new people and trying new things. He told me the other day that he was "pumped" about going to high school. He goes to a fairly large school (especially compared to mine) and they have really tried hard to make the Freshman year a great experience over the past 2 years. It was a shock to our systems being up at 5:15 am this morning, especially since he has not been getting up until 10 am during the summer ( he has really grown alot over the summer), but I am sure we will get used to it. I was ready for school to begin, he and Myah need some space.... we'll just leave it at that! She starts preschool next Monday so it is nice that I have some quality one on one with her before that.

I am anxious to hear about his day, it was only a half day today, he is done at 10:30, so I am not sure how much he was really able to learn yet today but at least it is a start! It seemed so strange to me this morning, he is only a year younger than I was when Mark and I started dating. I thought I knew everything back then, now in my older years I look back and know better. I am praying to be a supportive parent to him during these years and be someone that he can trust and lean on when he needs me. Lord give me strength!!! I have been bit mushy all day, tomorrow will be my Dad's first birthday in Heaven, Dayton's first full day of 9th grade on 9/9/09, Dad would have got a kick out of that. Last night when we were talking to Dayton I felt like I was echoing so many of the same words that my parents had spoke to me during my high school years, I wish Dad was here to refresh my memory!

Chicago! Chicago!

Well, I am still unpacking from my trip to Chicago and my head is spinning! I wish I had more time to play with my new images and edit some photos but life has needed me instead. Dayton is at his Freshman orientation right now and Myah is taking a much needed nap so I played for a few minutes. Here are a few of the hundreds of images that I took. I had a great time, learned alot and have a huge list for Santa! It was fun to meet some bloggy mommas that I have followed for a long time! This red thread thing is pretty amazing!

Chicago here I come!

I am so excited that this weekend I am attending a Pixel Fairy Princess Workshop in Chicago! I am going with my good friend Sheri and we are going for 3 whole days with no kids!!! I am sure my head will be spinning with information and I will have a wish list a mile long after I get home! My mom and sister gave me the workshop as a birthday present!! Lucky me!!! I hope to gain more knowledge and have lots of fun in the process!!!

A Fine Young Lad

My little boy is becoming a young man right before my very eyes. In a few weeks he will be entering high school and I am just not sure how I feel about that. I am filled with excitement for him, I know he is very eager to start school but I am also sad because I know how quickly those four years of high school pass and I am realizing that his life at home if just flying by. I pray that in those four years I can help mold him into a responsible, compassionate, kind and respectful man. He is surely on his way but I know that the pressures of life have a way of creaping in on my plans for him, I will pray that he makes the right decisions in life and the morals that we have been preaching to him will be that little voice he hears when a situation arises and he is looking for guidance on what to do. We are so proud of Dayton, he has brought joy into our lives since the day I found out I was expecting him. He is changing daily, growing inches taller and taller, looking down on me now, his voice is now deeper and he is getting strong like his dad. I find myself a bit weepy lately, I wish my dad could see how much he has changed in just the 7 months since his passing. He and Dayton were good buddies and I know this summer has been very different for Dayton, no talks about if the blue gills are hitting or not, or that Grandpa has been seeing lots of deer with their velvet from his blind or how well Dayton did in baseball, he would have loved to know that Dayton's team won their conference for the first time ever! I think Grandpa had a hand in that one. He broke his hand a month ago and has not been able to fish, play ball or golf, lots of time on his hands to think about how much his life has changed this year. I am so thankful that Dayton has his faith to carry him through those moments when he is missing Grandpa, he knows he will see him again, and he knows Grandpa is at peace and is perfect.

I have seen so many changes in Dayton over the past year, I cannot even imagine what other changes are in store for us. But I am so eager to find out. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful son!